The Hater Advantage: My Secret Marketing Department
How the haters in your life can become your best employees that work for free.
I just got off the phone with a friend of mine. The last thing he heard was me saying,
“Don’t worry about the plumbing in the basement when you should be in the meeting at the penthouse.”
He’s the newly appointed Creative Director for a legendary celebrity. But he’s finding himself a little shy about it and won’t tell anyone, so no one knows. Let me put it in a different way.
He’s shy, he won’t post about it, and so his future clients won’t see it. They won’t know what he does, and they won’t consider him for their creative direction projects. This is a direct effect on his bottom line. He’ll make less money, have less opportunities because he’s worried what the haters might think.
THE PROBLEM: He’s a Newer Creative Director
My friend started from the bottom (compared to being the creative director) and worked his way up. I love that! But then again, I’m not a hater and unfortunately many are. The haters are everywhere. Want to know where to find them?
They’re in your followers and following lists on Instagram. They see every story, never liking, never helping but always there to see it. They’re sometimes related to you, sometimes they’re people you see every day and people who have only “met you” through the Instagram app. Yet, they stay hating and that powerful energy keeps a lot of people in the shadows, afraid to be their biggest version.
But, who are you helping by hiding?
THE WHY: He’s Hiding His Greatness
He was shy about letting people know about his new position. I can’t understand it but if I’m being honest, I’d be the same way if I was him to be fair. It’s just much easier to say that from the sidelines.
Here’s why I think he’s a bit apprehensive about letting the cat out of the bag. 5 big reasons, all valid and all something that you might be able to relate to:
You are worried about losing friends: You were once one of them and now you are in charge of them. That’s worthy of some jitters, but not enough to stop you. Fuck ‘em, respectfully. If they aren’t happy for you, Fuck ‘em. That was easy, let me figure out another one.
You are gaining haters: You will and they’ll be in every corner. Let them be mad. Yeah that’s likely true. Fuck ‘em.
You have imposter syndrome: You worry people will critique your every move. They’ll watch and wait for you to mess up. Most won’t because most won’t be thinking of you. A few might and you’ll do just fine. You’ll live, you’ll be fine. Don’t let that stop you either.
Your thermostat: Every part of our life has a comfort-setting. It’s our comfortable place, a place that’s no longer challenging or effort-driven. This is a big one, because you’re being asked to step up, to leave some behind and to dive in deeper. That’s uncomfortable for anybody, much less someone managing the visual identity of a big celebrity. You’re no longer at that comfort-setting and you’ll need to find the new comfort-setting. It’ll be hard but hard is not impossible, and what are you going to do, stay mediocre for people that want to see you fall?
You fear failure: OK, what if you fail? You won’t get back up ever again? The world will launch you out into orbit to get rid of you? Nothing we do is that serious. Stop playing small, especially for the little-goal people.
THE OUTCOME: Staying Small for People with Smaller Goals
Let’s do a perspective shift. I’m right there with you. You support friends and family, you LIKE every post, hype them up, but when it comes time to celebrate you - it’s quiet (that dash was my writing btw, not Ai!)
And when there’s a big win for you, it becomes a point of contention, when it should have been a celebratory moment.
My friend is playing small for his BIG MONUMENTAL MOMENT. He’s shrinking himself for people who were never going to like him in the first place. He’s hiding his shine to avoid the vengeful eye of someone who wants his position.
He’s aware that energy is strong, and doesn’t want that evil force coming at him. He’s worried people will forward the post to each other, laughing and making comments in the DM. And you know what? That’s exactly what’s going to happen! Here’s a graphic to help you understand how the haters move.
THE SOLUTION: Make the Haters Work for FREE!
In the last section, I said everything would happen. They’ll do all of those things you’re afraid of, but let’s switch perspectives.
Shrinking yourself for people who don’t like you: Sound insane, right? These people want to see you behind them, smaller than them. They won’t be happy for you and you want to be accommodating for them? No, this your chance to see the data. Be bold about your wins, and then watch people’s reactions. It’s free market data, take it! See who is genuinely happy for you and who “didn’t see the post”. See who jumps for joy and who has to remind themselves 2 seconds later to “look happy”. This could have taken you years to find who is in your court and who is working against you. Let this announcement be your market study, done for free by those employees of yours… the haters.
He’s hiding his win, because people who didn’t do the work want his rewards: Your haters will find every reason to say you got lucky or that you don’t deserve the rewards. They’ll find every reason except the one that’s true. You kept working, they kept wishing. You are not the same.
Let the haters remind you that you are incredible at what you do! Let them be the model of the type of person you never want to become. Bless them for the data.He’s hiding his shine for fear of the evil eye: I get it. Culturally we’ll do this evil-eye charm and hang it on doorknobs, put it in the car, on keychains, etc. It’s supposed to ward off the evil eye, basically it’s staring it down. Personally, let me tell you what I believe. What God has for you, no one can take away. But in a day to day situation, the haters are you inventory guide. You’ll just participate in a little bit of a junk-drawer clean out. It’s good and it’s necessary because new things cannot land on a full plate. Make room for new blessings.
He’s worried about DM-chatter spreading. And they will chatter, all of them! This is your marketing dept and I’ll explain. Do you know why businesses practically beg you to write a review?
It’s because people who complain will write an online review the moment they get in the car. They can’t wait to type something terrible. Once they write the restaurant a terrible review, they’ll text a couple of friends about the bad service. As if that’s not enough, they’ll call a family member and make sure they also never attend the restaurant. The next day they’ll need more attention and decide to post something on social media about the business! Within 24 hours, at least a few dozen people will hear about their experience in the restaurant, whether it’s accurate or not. They can’t wait to spread the word!
At the same time, those that had a pleasant experience wont rush to the car to write a review. They’ll hopefully get to it in the next few days and in most cases, they’ll forget to write something. They won’t text friends about their incredible night, or hop on a call with a family member to rave about the place. They’ll likely share the good news but with far less urgency. Why am I telling you this?
Because that’s what your haters will do. They’ll say things like “Can you believe he thinks he’s a creative director now?” and we have to allow them to do that. Let their jealousy and unhappiness tell the whole town you’re the new star! Let them spread the word that you’re a creative director now. You’ve been wanting people to see you as this new title but how do you do it? Let the haters spread the word! You keep working on your greatness, let them tell everyone in town! They’ll be your salesperson, your marketing director, your meta ads specialist, your publicist, etc..and they did it for free! The big dummies.
Friend, if you’re shy let the haters tell everyone you got a promotion! Just put it in your Instagram caption and they’ll find it. They’ll pick up what you put down.
Friend, if you are too busy promote yourself, let the haters do it for you!
Friend if you don’t know how to advertise your services, let the haters spread your name and position around. At least one of the people they talk to will end up hiring you. That’s how this work.
Friend, if you’re too busy creating great work that earned your big promotion to be talking about your big win, let the haters do it for you. They work for free.
I had to remind him, don’t worry about what happens in the basement anymore friend. You’re wanted in the penthouse, that’s where you belong. And soon everyone will know where you are - because your haters will do the work for you.
The rest is up to you. Are you going to play small or show your good work? Pick the life you want.