Analog Road Ep: 1 (Admit the Problem)
The student is me, and the professor is also me (plus the community). What happens when a very successful photographer wants to learn film?
Confessing My Photography Secret
I’m tired of hiding behind the beautiful Hasselblad camera on my cabinet and in the background of nearly every YouTube video. Let me start by coming out now:
My Confession:
My name is Walid. I’ve had a very successful career. I’ve done what many said I couldn’t but I can’t shoot film. I’ve photographed with Instax and Polaroid cameras. I’ve used 35mm point-and-shoot cameras my whole life but I’ve never used a professional film camera. I’ve even put my iPhone over the viewer to get the “medium format look” and I’ve pushed buttons and wound up empty barrels because the sound is heavenly, and I’ve been afraid to shoot film. Publicly stating my shame is step 1 to learning and mastering film photography.
Why Am I Nervous to Shoot Film?
Do you see the photograph above this paragraph? I’m standing in the center of Dinamo Stadium in Tbilisi, Georgia. I was personally invited by then-campaigning Prime Minister Bidzina Ivanishvili. I flew from Los Angeles, landed at the Rustaveli Tbilisi International Airport, and had a police escort through the streets straight to the Stadium. I posted that photograph because when I say I’ve done some big shit, I’ve done them. What Afghan refugee gets that type of invitation!? I want you to see the absurdity of this apprehension.
The 50% Truth: Film has a higher failure rate, and it’s not instant. There’s something painful about spending money on a roll of film, developing it, and finding out days that you are terrible at what you do. With digital it’s instant verdict. The camera says “You’re good. Keep going” or it may suggest “You suck. figure it out but don’t worry cause it’s digital” - and there’s something beautiful about that.
The 100% Truth: Here’s the other 50% not in the answer above. Add what I say here to what I said earlier and you have 100% truth. I’m nervous because it’s unsettling that I’ve had so much success in my career and I feel insecure about film. I understand light at a level that I would say is unusual, because I can see the image before taking the photograph. When I say EXACTLY, I mean exactly. And if that’s the case then how am I so newbie at film? And rather than run towards my fear, I ran away from it.
Sure film isn’t as profitable as digital and it’s not always about that, is it?
Shame. If you’re suggesting that I feel shame because I’ve done incredible things in my career as a photographer but I get nervous about loading film in my Hasselblad. The answer is, yes.
Why I’m Making a BIG Deal of This?
Because if I’m going to mentor countless photographers towards a successful career, then I need to relate. I need to show them that learning is a part of the process and it’s ongoing. If you stop learning, you stop living (especially as an artist)
If I can do some big things, and small things, then I can also admit that I don’t know it all. And if I admit that I don’t know it all and I’m looking for help on my journey, maybe it’ll help someone else take their first step. That’s why.
What’s My Next Step?
First, I’d like to say it feels good to make that Instagram Reel today. It feels good to write this blog. It feels good to admit my fear and to show growth is possible. I’m going to follow through. I’m going to film my story of becoming a film photographer too. I’ll buy film, develop it, expose it early, and ruin it, and I’ll buy more. Then I’ll make a hundred mistakes and I’ll keep filming it.
Here’s How You Can Help
Can you give me your experience in the comments? What am I doing right or wrong? What do I need to look out for? What have you learned that you can share with not just me, but anyone reading this blog? There are many photo blogs on the internet, this one is about kindness and personal journies.
Here are some things that I have in my mind and I could use your help:
In the Southern California area, where can I buy film where the person behind the counter understands the product?
Where do you develop your rolls of film? Do you send them in the mail or take them somewhere local?
What is a fair amount to spend on developing my film, buying it, and scanning it?
If you could tell me the first trap for beginners, what would it be?
Thank you in advance!
